Resolved question:
Hello! I am a 34 year old male and I have abstained from having sexual relations since 8 years. But soon I am planning to get married, and I have noticed that I am not having stiff erections and when I am with my fiancée fooling around I have twice had a premature ejaculation without been in a sexual relation with her. When I had my last sexual relation 8 years old patientago things were much better. I wonder if that will change once I start making love with my future wife or there is a problem here. I must also mention that during those years old patientmy will became weak and I masturbated alot.
Thank you.
Submitted:
4 Days
Category:
Sexologist
Hello
Thanks for posting your query at DoctorSpring.com
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through.
However I need a couple of clarifications before I can help you.
1. When you were masturbating all these years, how was the erection?
2. Do you get early morning erection?
3. You metioned that you had premature ejaculation, but how was the erection before ejaculation?
4. Any medical issues like diabetes or hypertension or addicttions?
Hope to hear from you some time soon.
Kind regards,
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Hello Dr. Srikanth and thank you for your reply. Regarding the questions you mentioned, the answers are as follows: 1- when I masturbated during the past years, the erections most of the time were not stiff and I woyld get excited quite fast. 2- Sometimes I do get early morning erections, but rarely. But several times in a month I would get ejaculations during my sleep. 3- The erection before my ejaculation was not stiff, and that happened twice and twice ut wasn't stiff. But its good to mention that one time I had a stiff erection (no ejaculation though) and I guess it was what I had before that which was some white wine with quinoa and meat. 4- I have no health issues like hypertension or diabetes nor any addictions. I lead a healthy life, and despite becoming a little lazy for the past month, I usually do practice sports once a week. Thank you very much Best regards, Ghassan
Hello
Thanks for all the required details.
Firstly I would like to correct your myths about masturbation. Masturbation is a safe way of expressing ones own sexual desires. It leads to no physical or mental problems. The sperms and semen which are formed in the body are meant to come out of the body. They cannot be accumulated in the body and like urine they are formed in the body and are thrown out. They may come out on having sex or during masturbation. If you are indulging in none of these then the sperms and semen will come out at night by self (night fall) or routinely during any sexual stimulation. This is a normal phenomenon and will not cause any harm to you. Masturbation is safe and will cause no harm. It is harmful only when indulged in excessively leading to avoidance of normal work and schedule.
Further, the fact that you are able to have a good erection even occasionally (In masturbation or early morning erection) suggests that your penile function is totally preserved. The problem lies in the mind/brain. Most probably there is anxiety associated with the need to perform. The condition that you are suffering is called premature ejaculation. Now its a type of anxiety disorder and the person normally suffers from performance anxiety where in he is anxious if he can perform or not. Mostly the condition settles down ones you are comfortable with your partner and there is no need to worry about the performance. However if the problem persists then you need to treat it. First you can try the start stop technique. Your wife is supposed to start stimulating you and the moment you are about to ejaculated she is supposed to stop all the stimulaton and and hold your penis head hard. Now this should be repeated.
Perineal exercises also help. These are the muscle exercises that occur when you contract the perineal muscles like when you are trying to stop the urine or feces. You have to do this contrations repeatedly daily to tone up the perineal muscles.One solution is medications. Some patients are not willing to wait for these acts to produce results and instead demand medicines. I prescribe them 12.5 mg paroxetine at night and they are doing good. Normally one should try until 25mg of Paroxetine. If paroxetine is not effective then Dapoxetine is an option. It has to be given 1 hour before having sex and will prolong the sexual interval.
There is no sureshot immediate cure but with time this problem settles down
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further concerns, let me know.
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD
Dear Dr. Srikanth,
Thank you very much for your email, you don't know how aliveated I feel.
Now you helped me with the premature ejaculation part, but how about the stiffness part? Is it related and will it be solved the same way?
Also can you please guide me on how to train my perineal muscels?
Thank you
Best Regards,
Hello.
The stiffness wont be an issue if you have a sex with your legal partner in the right frame of mind.
For perinieal exercises, you need to contract your perinieal muscles as when you do to stop the stools or hold back the urine. You may then do such an act for 10-12 times at a stretch for 5-6 times in a day.
Thanks
Dr. Srikanth Reddy