Thanks for your question and concern. It is not clear to me that you are actually suffering from this disease known as vaginismus or you just think that because of the problems you are facing in having sex or penetration. You should always remember that the best solution to every problem is the discussion and women do express all the sexual problems they feel with their partners or doctors or with the ones they trust the most. Now when you really do not want to visit a doctor then I would suggest you to probably go and talk to some specialist to make yourself aware of the problem that is causing you so much of difficulty in having sexual intercourse or penetration. Through this, you will come to some conclusion as in what should be your next step. I would also suggest you to not to get afraid about any infection just by seeing in the pictures as you have seen the pics of herpes. There are lots of infections that are curable these days and you need to go and check on with your doctor for all the related information. There are lots of clinics that provide the complete knowledge of the sexual problems and the possible issues that you can probably face in the future. You can also ask your doctor to explain all types ofinfections, their causes and precautions with the help of diagrams. This way you can also gain knowledge about herpes through the pics of herpes that your doctor will explain you. Good luck.