Hello, Ive had for a long time problems with my body. I dont really know how to describe it other than that Ive felt awfully tired, mentally and physically for the last five years. Sometimes its like a big delay between mind and body. It happened after I did amphetamine and strained myself physically, about five years ago. I kept numbing the pain with more amphetamine and alcohol, which I eventually stopped doing because I realised it did not allow my body to heal. Now its gotten to a point where Im in desperate need for a quiet envoriment to function properly. Basicaly, I can feel my body repairing itself slowly, but surely. But everytime there is a unexpected noise, my body kinda gets shocked. Filled with tension. I have done MRs and xrays and it shows nothing wrong. Im not sure what else test to do. If I lie down, I can feel Im about to relax, and my mind disapears for a wile into fantasy land, almost as a pshycosis, but I always knows its not real, I even steer it in the direction I want. Meanwhile, my body stars to gain better mobility again. But it always gets disrupted by some noise, cars, planes, doors.. etc. Now I have commited myself voluteraliy into a mental instiute to see if they can help, but Im weary about the medicine they want to give me.. its basically antipsycotika, and I worry about the bi effects, mainly the motoric bi effects... I already have problems there, I dont need more!! They dont seem to acknowledge that there is something wrong with me physically, so I am really worried right now... I think there might be something to do with the sense that controlls my spacial awareness.... I dont know what to do now. I commited myself here because I had nowhere else to go... my apartment is to noisy, but its noisy here too!!! My last resort will be suicide. I really dont want to, I see hope if I could only get to a quiet place and stay there for a while, but nobody wants to help me with this.... Please help me!! Sorry for spelling mistakes, I wrote this in a hurry. I will answer any follow up question... Sincerely Michael.
PS, here are some symptoms.
Numbness, that tends to go away given an opertunity to lie down undisturbed, if I the stand up, I gain back some of my mobility.
Tingling in hands and feet.
Feeling as if I cant reach stuff, even do I can, but it feels wrong, like my joints twist in an unnatural position. This causes alot of anxiety.
Feeling like it takes away too much of my focus, I cant focus on things for a long time. I feel downright retarded sometimes. I guess you could say lowered mental cognition. Unable to think long term. Have a hard time remembering things, I suspect its because I do not have the focus to remember by assosiation. If that makes sense. Unable to sit in same position for longer periods of time. I have to sorta sit in a position between relaxed and tense spot.
Also..... and this is not a joke, and I have never told anyone about this. I sucked my own penis during my amphetamine use... I havent had the guts to tell anyone. What the fuck do I do?????? Please help me!
Category: Neurologist, Medical