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I have a major doubt if my husbands a gay or does he have some medical condition?

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I am 34 year old 5 years of married life, me and my husband have been asexual since our marriage I mean we never have sex, we kiss we cuddle sleep together but dont have sex. I can't keep myself from sex is that my problem? I have a major doubt if my husbands a gay or does he have some medical condition?

Category: Sexologist

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Category: Family Physician-GP
 23 Doctors Online

Hello, thanks for writing to us.

It is sad to hear about your married life being unfruitful. I shall try to give all the probable causes here. There are many causes for asexual life in a couple. They are:

  • General causes: Disinterest for each other,

Extra marital conflicts

Financial socio-economic affairs

  • Medical conditions: Any cause pertaining to impaired desire, impaired arousal, impaired erection or sexual pain.
  • Hormonal imbalances as in changes in levels of FSH, LH, estrogens, FSH/LH ratio, progesterone, prolactin in females , testosterone, prolactin, corticosteroids in male.
  • Systemic diseases like Diabetes, hypertension, Psychiatric issues
  • Drugs like anti hypertensive drugs, anti-psychiatric drugs

Erection problem early in the morning and no erection on any other stimulus points towards organic erectile dysfunction.

It would have been better if you had provided the details of your medical history, drug addictions, any family history pertaining to the above mentioned causes.

Assuming that you don’t have any other marital conflicts, I suggest you to meet your physician as soon as possible.

Step wise examinations usually done are:

  1. General physical examination including the external genitalia of the patient
  2. Diabetes and hypertension status
  3. Blood tests like Complete blood picture, ESR.
  4. Blood FSH, LH, Prolactin, Thyroid profile in female partner
  5. Testosterone, corticosteroids, Prolactin levels in male partner

Hope this of some help.


Dr. John Monheit
Category: Family Physician-GP
Experience: 
Residecny: North Colorado Family Medicine
Medical School: The Chicago Medical Center
Dr. John Monheit and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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