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Herpes ruins relationship. Facts about herpes

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Dear doctor,I am a 25 years old female. I am now under depression and I feel myself out of controls due to herpes I have got somehow. I am really frustrated by the issue. I am about to get married soon, with my fiancé who is 28 years old. We have a one year old daughter. First of all, let me say that I have done sex with my fiancé only since 2002. But test results show that I am positive and he is negative of herpes. How can this happen? He doubts me for having herpes. In 2007 I had the first outbreak of HSV and never seen any other signs of symptoms thereafter, which make me think that I have got HSV infection. Can you please explain how HSV is caused? I fear that I am ruining our relationship by trying to assure him that he is the only person I had sex with, since then. Is it possible for herpes to stay in body from 2002, without causing any outbreak till now? Recently, I went out with my friends and spend a night with my friends but haven’t did sex with anyone. I had an outbreak since then and my fiancé doubts that I became unfaithful that night. I am damn sure that no sexual contact was there with anyone that night. I read somewhere that one can get herpes infection long before and an outbreak is not necessary to be seen soon after infection. My doctor confirmed that infection can go dormant for years after getting infected. When our daughter was about 6 months old, I have lost about 50 pounds of my body weight and also become depressed. I went to my gynec for getting treated and she prescribed some anti-depressants. But I was afraid of the side-effects and never took it. I heard that stress can trigger an outbreak of herpes and I doubt that it is the reason of outbreaks in me. But in contrary to these, doctor of my fiancé told him that my outbreak can be a result of sex, which he believes that I performed during my outing. But I remember that I had sex with my fiancé when I started getting symptoms of outbreak for the first time. It lasted for a long time and a soreness was felt in my vagina area. I thought that the soreness and slight pain I experienced was because of scented tampons I used then and never before. Also, I was nearing menstruation. When I consulted doctor, he told that stress, menstruation and change of tampon may have resulted in the outbreak, altogether. In total I had only 3 outbreaks and all were during menstruation. Is it necessary for me to test for HIV or similar sexually transmitted diseases? I don’t remember any time I have done a test for STDs. Also, please suggest me some cold sore remedy and some home treatment for herpes. Thanks for your time.

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Category: Family Physician-GP
 32 Doctors Online

HSV or Herpes Simplex virus is the virus which causes genital herpes in human beings. It is of two types, HSV type 1 and HSV type 2. Of these, HSV type 1 causes cold sores and facial sores. Type 2 HSV is responsible for sores in genital areas and generally for genital herpes. Both of them are transmitted through sexual practices including oral sex and cunningulus. HSV type 1 is notorious in some other sense that it can be transmitted to children from parents through kissing and oral secretions. Generally, herpes infection stays dormant in 80 % of the infected people. There has been a wide spread of this virus, since it was reported for the first time. Early diagnosis and prompt treatment are required to suppress a possible outbreak. It has become a major sexual health concern for recent decades. However, no treatment for herpes has been discovered till date to eradicate the presence of virus fully from the body. Thant means, once it is infected, it will stay in human body for a life time. Anyway, presence of HSV 2 can be used as a measurement of sexual activities in certain cases. Antiviral therapy is used as treatment for herpes and antiviral creams are used as cold sore remedies. Condoms and such barrier methods are not found to be effective in preventing transmission of virus. This is because skin to skin contact with cold sores can cause cold sore spreading and spread of genital herpes. The best preventive step is to avoid sexual contacts including oral sex with infected people. In your case, your fiancé might have caught herpes infection, if you have did unprotected sex. But blood test results need not show positive in all cases. This makes the test less reliable too. Emotional and physical stresses including menstruation can activate virus and cause an outbreak and can even lead to life threatening situations. But it is not seen to change life expectancy in human beings. Hope my answer helps. Take care.


Dr. John Monheit
Category: Family Physician-GP
Experience: 
Residecny: North Colorado Family Medicine
Medical School: The Chicago Medical Center
Dr. John Monheit and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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