Hello. Thank you for your answer. I emailedy doctor and spoke with her and she says I could get PEP. She said she doesn't think I definitely need it but gave me a place to contact that works with PEP. I explained the situation to them and they said I am at risk but maybe a lower risk since I don't know if he ejaculated in me. We finished early but there was some stuff in the condom when I checked it. They said I can go to my nearest hopsital to get pep. Do you think I need this? It has to be within 72 hours and it's already been over 40, so I don't have much time to decide. My doctor doesn't think it's definitely necessary but the PEP nurse said I can do it to be safe. I dorm want to take these strong medications if I don't have to. What are my chances of having it vs not having it (if the guy had it)? I am going to paste the email I sent to my doctor since it has a lot more detail about the actual situation. Please tell me what you think. Thank you!!

Hi Dr. Miller,

How are you? I hope everything is well. I'm sorry to bother you but I just have something that is on my mind because of something I did last night and I don't know who else to ask. (Well it was technically today because it was at 3am). Because of this situation I am very worried that I could have contracted HIV and I'm really not sure if I'm just overly paranoid. This is so embarrassing but I will explain the situation. I'm so sorry for this long email. Last night I had sex with an ex who I know sleeps around with many other girls. I know when he does it he probably doesn't use protection (unless the girl requests it) because I used to see him for like two years and never used protection at all, this was like a year and a half ago. Anyway, I saw him yesterday and I regret this and don't even know why I did it. I am still with my boyfriend who is away until June and he does NOT know about this at all and hopefully never will. It was definitely a mistake and a big regret. Anyway, right before we had actual intercourse I told him to put on a condom. He said he had to go to the bathroom to "pee" but I never heard the toilet flush but did hear the condom wrapper open. I was so afraid that he could of did something to the condom because he lied and said he was using the bathroom but did not and I heard him open the condom, but I didn't really think he would want to do anything like that. The only reason he might is to try to get me somehow caught by my boyfriend because maybe he's jealous, I don't know, I can't think of any other reason. So when he came in I felt it was on and we had sex. After like 20 minutes I told him to stop because it was burning so we stopped. He took off the condom right away and put it in a black plastic bag. This morning when I woke up I took the bag to the bathroom acting like I was going to flush it. I took the condom out and I examined it and I saw a hole on the tip part. I didn't put water in it or anything to see if there were other holes that I couldn't see, but there was some stuff in it and I don't think anything was leaking except from the hole I saw. So there could have been other holes that I didn't see but I could not tell. This hole that I actually did see was at the tip and was not just a tiny hole, it was like maybe half or a quarter size of a penny, not enough to stick like a whole finger through but definitely enough to clearly see it and have stuff easily come out of it. I was so embarrassed and scared but a little while later I got the courage and I asked him about this and he said that he did not do anything to it and that he went to the bathroom to pee and that he put it on when he came back in the room. I never heard the toilet flush and I heard the condom wrapper in the bathroom. I did not see him put anything on in the room, I am almost positive he put it on in the bathroom and did not pee like he said because the toilet never flushed. Also, the hole was at the tip and that's probably exactly where someone would put it if they were to deliberately put a hole in it since that's where the "stuff" would come out of. If he didn't do anything to the condom then why would he lie about where he put it on and why would there be a very viewable hole at the tip? Also, the sex burned which never happens to me. My biggest question and fear, and the whole reason I'm writing this is because I'm scared I could have HIV from this. If he does have HIV, what are my chances of getting it from this experience? I read online that I would have equal chances to if we had unprotected sex because the condom is useless and not effective with a hole. I don't think he ejaculated because we didn't finish, but there were definitely liquids in the condom, that could have or probably did get into me. Also, I had just shaved in that area a few hours before and there could of been a cut or something on me. The sex was burning (I'm not sure if this was from the condom having the hole or maybe because I haven't had sex in a while). And he gave me oral sex right before. I did not do that for him (Thank God). Also, I just had the surgery to remove the cyst from my ovary about 3-4 weeks ago and still have the incisions that are healing on my lower stomach. Not sure if this surgery or the incisions could increase my risk. I'm sorry for this long message, but please explain whatever you may know that could help. I am very scared this could have caused me to contract HIV if he has it. I don't know if I'm worrying for nothing or over paranoid but this just won't leave my mind. It's all I think about. I had these fears before but this time is so much worse because the condom showed a hole in it the next morning when I checked it. Unless the hole wasn't there during sex, but then why did I see it in the morning? Would it at all be possible that the hole came after it was already off and the condom had no hole while we had sex? Don't see how that would be possible. I really feel like he did something to it because of the fact that he lied about using the bathroom and not putting it on in there. I am almost positive he put it on in the bathroom because like I said, I heard the wrapper and I did not hear him pee or hear the toilet flush at all and did not see him put it on when he got in the room at all. Why would he lie about where he put it on if he didn't damage the condom on purpose? I just had a HIV test last week and I was so relieved and now I am so worried and cannot stop thinking about this. I wish I never did this yesterday, mainly for this reason. I know I would only have a chance of getting it if he does have it but I have no clue if he does and the fact that he might of done something to the condom makes me worry so much more that he could have it and did this on purpose. The only way I can be sure is for him to take a test and then if it's negative I know he doesn't have it (unless he got it in the recent few months). I could never ask him to do that, we are not close at all. I'd be too scared to ask him and he would most likely think I'm crazy and not even agree to do it. I cannot take a test for myself until 3 months for absolute accurate results and I know I am going to go crazy until then. I will not stop thinking about it. Please tell me what you think. Once again, I'm so sorry for this long email, I just am really panicking.

Hello, sorry to bother you again. I just had a couple more questions. Today I went to get PEP. By the time I received it, it was around 62 hours after the incident. I know they say it can work up to 72 hours later but I have also read that the sooner you take it, the better the chance of its success. Am I at lower risk for this medication to work since I waited till almost the whole 72 hours? If so, how much less of a chance will it be that it may not work? I felt so
much better once I took this but now I am
worried that I waited too long and increased my chances of becoming infected. Also, if the man I was with did not have HIV and I was no exposed at all, can this medication do any harm? Because I know for example, if someone takes a medication that they don't need, it can make them worse, like a non-diabetic taking a medicine for diabetes or a non psychotic person taking a medication when they're not psychotic. So if I wasn't exposed to this disease at all, then will the medication do anything bad to me? Can it increase my chance of getting the disease in the future from someone or make me imune to the medication or something? Also, like I said I didn't take it till 62 hours after; do you know of anyone who waited that long, or Better, waited longer, and if so, what was their outcome ? I'm very nervous now because I took it only 10 hours before the deadline. Please let me know all that you can to help. Thank you so much!