Hi, this is an extremely sensitive subject for me as I've been dealing with this for as long as I can remember (something like perhaps 5-7 years?).

When I was younger, aged 11, I developed much faster than most men, and because I could "perform" along with a friend of mine, we decided to experiment. Yes, I am saying I had unprotected sex at 11 year old. I only mention this because I am unsure if this may have affected anything.

However as I've grown up more, I've found to be having more and more difficulty. When I was in school around 11-13 year old, I was quite "unclean". I had no idea what the word Hygiene meant. When, and it sounds ridiculous saying it, I actually started washing daily as any normal person, I found my penis to be extremely sensitive under the foreskin, to the point where I could not even "pat" it or soak it in water. I tried many times to get some warm (not hot) and undiluted water on it just to try and clean it. It stung too much and I pulled away too quickly.

At that point I kinda gave up on my self, life as an adult is about settling down with a job and family, yet I can't even keep the one part of my body clean that I need to, we all know how important it is.

Skipping a few chapters, I've tried loads of times to *try* and do something about it on my own, it is literally highly embarrassing to tell anyone that I failed to clean my own dingdong and now I am suffering from it, it's highly inflamed, irritant, has a terrible odour and had white bits. I just can't get anything off because it's so sensitive to touch, and if I was to use something like lube to try get it off, I could not wash the lube off. I'm stuck.

I gave up and accepted defeat, which is why it's taken me so long to actually make a move and try to fix it at 19 year old, I don't want to tell anyone or visit and show off to my GP, it's disgusting. I shower at least once daily and have managed to force it into some tepid water to just try and soak it for a short while, however all I can do is extremely gently pat it dry because it's too painful.

This is irrelevant, but over the years I have actually tried to kill my self 5 times because of this. Now I am just an isolated, lonely and deeply depressed guy who wants to get his life on track, or end it. Any help is welcomed except "go see your GP", if there are any creams which will stop this sensitivity (even if it means excruciating pain at the time) for the greater good, so be it, but I cannot face going to a doctors.

Thanks for your time :'(