Resolved question:
Hello i have problem with my boyfriend...when we are kissing very passienatly he gets exited and erect but when the deed is about to happen...no dice he loses erection...not even with oral sex...he says since the age of 14 he started to have problems...he also told me a traumatic experiance when he was only a child...he has past testostone level test and this is not the issue...can this be psychological...and also i dont think it helps he masterbates like 3..to 4 times a week...he will not be erect but still has the desire to ejaculate..and does...i realy like him and do not want to give up on us cause of this..pls help or guide me...
Submitted:
4 Days
Category:
Sexologist
Hello
Thanks for using doctorspring for posting your query.
I have gone through it in detail and I can understand what you are going through.
The facts that
1) he is in his 30s and
2) that he does have an erection during foreplay suggest that there is very rare chance for this problem to be organic.
His genital organ (penis) and his brain and hormonal content should all be normal. This is best ascertained by doing a doppler test of the penis using papaverin and by doing a testosterone test. Testosterone levels have already come normal and most probably even the doppler test would come normal.
The most possible cause is psychological. Normally the patients who visit my clinic have had past traumatic experiences with sexuality or they feel that sex is a bad thing in life. Now this illness cannot be helped with medicine and will require psychological help. This is done by a sexologist or a psychiatrist who would like to explore the thoughts of your boyfriend about sex and correct them where they are wrong with the cognitive behavioural therapy.
Also a therapy called sensate focus therapy where in the person should not make insertion as a part of sex and instead have only foreplay with no compulsion for sex for 1-2 weeks so that the patient becomes comfortable with the sex. I suggest some of my patients to even use aromatic oils for increasing the pleasure. After 2 weeks, you may begin with the intercourse as well.
Hope this will help you, I would be glad to answer any follow-up queries.
Wish you good health,
Regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD
Thank you...you have givin me some hope..we just started to talk about this 2days ago..i told him as a couple we have to seek help..he does not knw i went online for help..so whats the first step we have to take..clinic, reference..what...like i said he has the desire but he seems to get stressed when happening...also ive notice a lack in energie..he works nights..but his energie level is very low... i dont knw if that is related..i just need guidence how to aboard this topic with him and show him my support..
Hello,
Thanks for the follow up query.
You need to first discuss this issue with your boyfriend. You need to tell him that there is a problem in the relationship and you should be careful in not blaming him for the problem. Its only with support and compassion that the problem can be handled comfortably.
You need to see a sexologist or a psychiatrist with your partner and discuss the issues with him. He will surely guide you step by step towards improvement. It will take time but there is a good chance for improvement.
Hope that helps, please feel free to discuss further.
Wish you good health